It Begins At Home Part 6

XIV. The training of children is a solemn responsibility of parents. Pro.22:6 c/w Pro.1:8; Eph.6:1.

1. The successful training of children is very dependent upon the parents' presuppositions about their children.

   1. Here is an "A - Z" list of unhealthy presuppositions about children.

      1. Children are naturally pure, innocent and without innate capacity to sin.

      2. Children will naturally develop good character without guidance.

      3. Children's development is thwarted by imposed boundaries and limitations.

      4. Children do not develop properly unless smothered with stuff.

      5. Children's psyches will be irreparably damaged by spanking.

      6. Children's psyches are so fragile that any parental error could ruin them.

      7. Children need to be always sheltered from discomfort or disappointment.

      8. Children do not need love and affection, only rules and orders.

      9. Children are unwanted obstacles to personal goals and desires.

      10. Children are the property of the State to be molded to its preferences.

      11. Children are the property of the parents to be molded to their preferences.

      12. Children are all born with like personalities.

      13. Children are all born with differing personalities which cannot be affected.

      14. Children will not be adversely affected by ungodly entertainment.

      15. Children will naturally make good choices about food, clothes and pleasure.

      16. Children will naturally make good choices about friends.

      17. Children are a parent's pets.

      18. Children must be harshly disciplined for every infraction.

      19. Children always need negative reinforcement.

      20. Children always need positive reinforcement.

      21. Children do not need praise.

      22. Children need constant praise.

      23. Children's interests are foremost in the home.

      24. Children's interests should be given no consideration in the home.

      25. Children should be spared doctrinal teaching and preaching.

      26. Children do not need God, His knowledge, His fear, His Bible or His church.

   2. None of the above presuppositions accord with Scripture. It is imperative that a Biblical presuppositional view of children be cultivated.

2. As noted earlier in this study, children are the heritage of the Lord given to parents to train up in the ways of the Lord for Him (Psa.127:3 c/w Deu.6:4-7), human parents essentially being trustees for God.

   1. The goal of parenting is to bring children to maturity, to the fulness of human potential according to God's design.

      1. Jesus Christ is the supreme model of human maturity and fulness. Eph.4:13.

      2. The more one conforms to the character of Christ, the more he is full and mature.

         1. Christ's character speaks of faithfulness, reliability, truthfulness, holiness, righteousness, justice, principle, boldness, candor, submissiveness, honor, duty, patience, etc.

         2. An individual in whom such attributes have been cultivated would be a welcome part of a family, the workplace and society, generally.

      3. Full, mature human potential is unattainable without Christ in the picture.

   2. Children are conceived in and born with a sin nature. Psa.51:5; 58:3; Pro.22:15.

      1. Left to himself, a child will develop bad opinions and habits. Pro.29:15; 17:25.

      2. Left to himself, a child will become oppressive. Isa.3:12.

      3. Good opinions and habits must be trained into children. Pro.22:6.

         1. They are not to be trained in a way they want to go.

         2. They are not to be trained in a way you want them to go.

         3. They are not to be trained in a way others want them to go.

         4. They are to be trained in THE way that they SHOULD go, and God is the determiner of that way.

      4. Parents must strive to reverse and restrain the effects of the fall by training the child.

         1. Train: "III. 5. To treat or manipulate so as to bring to the proper or desired form; spec. in Gardening, to manage (a plant or a branch) so as to cause it to grow in some desired form or direction....6. To subject to discipline and instruction for the purpose of forming character and developing the powers of, or of making proficient in some occupation...."

         2. Healthy, productive gardens require good soil, light, water and weeding.

         3. Even the best of gardens must be dressed (made straight or right, brought into proper order) and kept (had regard or paid attention to) according to Gen.2:15. Let not the parent of the "good" child, therefore, think his/her training is unnecessary.

         4. The definition of train underscores the importance of starting the process early in life. It is much easier to train a sapling to grow in a specific direction than a fourteen-year-old oak.

      5. It is very important for parents to be united in purpose in the training.

         1. A direction and method for child-training should be discussed by parents and the father deciding what should be stressed and making sure such is implemented.

         2. Unless a clear, present danger to the child's well-being is at stake, a wife should back up her husband's decision by honoring and enforcing it. Pro.31:11.

         3. Children will seek to "divide and conquer" if there is not a strong, united front in parents, exploiting the breach for their own advantage by playing one parent against the other.

         4. How can children please God and obey their parents in the Lord (Eph.6:1) if the parents have contradictory directives?