It Begins At Home Part 4

X. Reverence of a spouse is not the sole responsibility of the wife.

1. Husbands are to be "giving HONOUR unto the wife..." (1 Pe.3:7).

2. Honour: "High respect, esteem or REVERENCE, accorded to exalted worth or rank; deferential admiration or approbation."

3. There is therefore to be a mutual reverence and respect within marriage and without this a marriage is in trouble.

   1. The wife reverences her husband as her head, strength and savior.

   2. The husband is to give honour unto (reverence) his wife "as unto the weaker vessel" (1 Pe.3:7).

      1. He should not require her to bear burdens that were not meant for her to bear.

      2. He should shield her from harmful influences, including his own.

      3. He should accept that her physical, emotional and mental make-up may very well make it difficult for her to do, feel or think as he does.

      4. He should realize that her defensiveness may very well be because she knows she is the weaker vessel.

      5. Instead of despising her for those weaknesses, he should love her and be not bitter against her. Col.3:19.

      6. To be bitter against a wife for being as God made her is to fault God for making her that way.

      7. She is to be nourished (brought up, reared, nurtured) AND cherished (held dear, treated with tenderness and affection; made much of). Eph.5:29.

      8. She thrives on praise and reward and should receive it. Pro.31:28-31.

      9. She is poetically a garden (Son.4:12) and a garden that is not well-cared for yields little pleasure.

      10. Let us pray for a national repentance from the perverted values which would deny women their natural tenderness and femininity and send them into armed combat.

          1. Fathers, teach your sons by Scripture and example to bear manly burdens themselves and to treat women as ladies.

          2. Mothers, teach your daughters by Scripture and example to be content with how God made them. Cultivate femininity and ladylike attitudes in them.

          3. There will never be a national return to such dignity unless it begins at home.

   3. The very effectiveness of a couple's prayer life hinges on the respect that the husband renders unto the wife: "....that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Pe.3:7).

      1. Conduct should accord with prayer's desire if prayer is to be effectual.

      2. Praying for your children to grow up into godly adults with healthy marriages while dishonouring one another in front of them is an appropriate example of hindering prayer.

4. People are much more willing to accept criticism from those whom they know respect them and have their best interests at heart.

5. Men: she needs to know that your headship is for her good and the family's good, not merely for your self-will or ego.

6. Women: you need to know that he will have much less trouble giving you the care, attention and affection that you desire when he senses you respect his headship and leadership.

7. Learn to practice 1 Pe.3:8-11 in marriage.

   1. Be pitiful and courteous to your spouse.

   2. Make efforts to understand each other's problems and feelings.

   3. Strive to understand instead of pressing to be understood.

   4. Guard the tongue. c/w Pro.18:21-22.

8. Remember: it begins at home.

   1. Children will first learn how a wife relates to her husband in their own home.

   2. Children will first learn how a husband relates to his wife in their own home.

   3. What will your children learn from your relationship?

XI. Making sense out of a disordered world must start by proper order in the home.

1. Here is where the woman is blessed to honor God and exercise considerable authority and influence. Tit.2:3-5.

   1. Keeper: "One who has charge, care, or oversight of any person or thing; a guardian, warden, custodian." c/w 1 Ti.5:14; Pro.31:27.

      1. She is not just a Sweeper, she is a Keeper: a guide of the house.

      2. Keeping house requires great organizational skills, culinary skills, financial sense, etc., even WITHOUT children in the picture!

      3. With children in the household, the responsibility is even greater and more solemn. This is no meager undertaking!

      4. A woman with children has a great sphere of influence for good or bad. Eph.6:1 c/w Pro.1:8; 2 Ch.22:1-3.

   2. A woman exercises authority over the home under her husband.

      1. Thus, the headship of the husband does not imply that the woman has no authority to wield.

      2. A wise husband will delegate authority and a wise woman will faithfully exercise it.

   3. Consider the phrase, "keepers at home" (Tit.2:5).

      1. This does not forbid a wife from leaving the confines of the home. 1 Sa.25:18; Pro.31:16.

      2. It should, though, warn against the opposite extreme of being a gadabout.

         1. Godly women are to be "discreet, chaste, keepers at home..."

         2. Dinah was not discreet (showing discernment or judgement in the guidance of one's own speech and action; judicious, prudent, circumspect, cautious...), didn't keep at home, and lost her chastity. Gen.34:1-2.

   4. Believers: Let not this humanistic, Bible-rejecting society cow you into thinking that a woman who is domestically oriented is somehow cheapened or deprived by that!

2. The virtuous woman of Pro.31:10-31 is clearly not an incarcerated baby-making machine forced to stifle any talent, sense or creativity.

   1. This passage acknowledges the right of a wife and mother to be involved in business dealings beyond domestic responsibilities.

   2. Clearly, the guidance of her house is not surrendered because of this.

   3. Though industrious, she honors her husband's headship.

   4. Women who contribute to household finances must be cautious to not usurp the husband's authority.

   5. The healthy balance of submissiveness and industry in the virtuous woman can be attributed to her fear of God. Pro.31:30.

   6. Ruth is good example of a principled, industrious, meek and quiet spirit who was not afraid with amazement. She is appropriately identified as a virtuous woman. Ruth 3:11.