Instructing Youth About Sex and Dating Part 2By Pastor Boffey on Sunday, June 21, 2020.
III. Humans are biologically designed by God to begin strong hormonal secretions around the time of adolescence which alter the body’s internal and external functions and external appearance. Concomitantly, the desire for sexual gratification becomes very strong. A. Materialism asserts that man is no more than matter as animals are no more than matter. Man is just an animal whose “love” is merely sexual desire which is only a natural expression of the flesh and no more. Promiscuity is considered normal. B. Asceticism asserts that the body is evil. Therefore, to gratify the body is evil. Only the interests of the soul are deemed good. C. But man is properly both physical and spiritual. He is capable of choice, reason, perception and emotion. His behavior, including the satisfaction of his physical needs, can be influenced by motives and intentions with personal meaning and directed to specific goals. Therefore, man is a responsible creature who is accountable to his Creator to intelligently deal with his physical needs according to the laws of his Creator. D. Gratification of sexual drive through intercourse (sexual connection/joining together) is more than mere satisfaction of physical appetite. 1. The denial of sexual intercourse would produce no physical danger as would the denial of food or water. 2. Sexual intercourse involves another person. 3. Sexual intercourse has social consequences such as pregnancy and childbirth. 4. Whereas diet is scarcely regulated by the law of God, sexual intercourse is strictly regulated by the law of God. a. fornication: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a man (in restricted use, an unmarried man) and an unmarried woman. In Scripture, extended to adultery. [GAL5:19] b. Same-sex intercourse is forbidden. LEV 18:22; ROM 1:26-27. c. Incestuous intercourse is forbidden. LEV 18:6-18 c/w 1CO 5:1. d. Beast intercourse is forbidden. LEV 18:23. e. Vaginal intercourse in marriage during menstruation is forbidden. LEV 18:19. (1) This law was not unique to Israel as other laws like the Sabbath. EXO 31:16-17. (2) This is a law to which men in general are accountable since it was for such things that the nations were judged. LEV 18:27-28. f. Sexual intercourse only in marriage between one man and one woman is honourable and undefiled. HEB 13:4; MAT 19:3-9. (1) Marriage is the one resort for sexual intercourse. 1CO 7:1-2, 8-9, 36. (2) adultery: Violation of the marriage bed; the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with one of the opposite sex, whether unmarried, or married to another (the former being technically designated single, the latter double adultery. (3) whoremonger: One who has dealings with whores; one who practises whoredom; a fornicator, lecher. (4) whore: A woman who prostitutes herself for hire; a prostitute, harlot. (5) Sexual intercourse has free rein to express itself within biblical marriage as long as it works no ill to the partner (ROM 13:10) and heeds the order of LEV 18:19. Any other form of sexual intercourse is forbidden. IV. It is critical to cultivate biblical, Christian ideals to preserve chastity when dating. Sexual control will depend on what you know about right and wrong, and also about the nature of sexual attraction and arousal. A. Scripture speaks of sexual arousal as being ravished. PRO 5:19-20; SON 4:9-10. 1. ravish: To seize and carry off (a person); to take by violence, to tear or drag away from (a person or place). 2. The use of “ravish” in these texts implies an overpowering force that makes one a passive object which has lost control. 3. Male and female alike need to be aware of this power and avoid the point of no return. 4. Women need to be modest in dress, conversation and behavior so as to not unduly arouse a man to the point of no return. 1TI 2:9-10. a. modest: Of women, their attributes and behaviour: Governed by the proprieties of the sex; decorous in manner and conduct; not forward, impudent, or lewd; ‘shamefast’...scrupulously chaste in feeling, language, and conduct; shrinking from coarse or impure suggestion. b. shamefaced: Modest; bashful, shy. c. sober: Moderate, temperate, avoiding excess, in respect of the use of food and drink; not given to the indulgence of appetite. d. 1PE 3:2. chaste: Pure from unlawful sexual intercourse; continent, virtuous. (Of persons, their lives, conduct, etc.). e. The immodest woman catches the eye of all men, not just decent men. B. Select dates carefully, looking for good character. 1. The entire Book of Proverbs is a great resource for wise choices of character. Solomon not only magnifies wisdom’s direction in personal development for male and female but also in warning against what kind of company to avoid. PRO 7:10-13; 23:15-22; 31:10-31; 30:23; TIT 2:6. 2. Wisdom dictates that you are not going to find good character in a saloon or brothel any more than you would find fish in the desert. 3. One can insist on fishing where nothing worthwhile is caught or one can fish where wisdom directs. LUK 5:4-6. C. Plan dates involving interesting, wholesome activity. Avoid public or private situations which arouse sexually, including your entertainments. Channel energies in creative, healthy, morally clean activities like sports, studies, church. Beware of idleness since it leads to ungodliness. EZE 16:49. D. Young people: communicate with your parents about dates! Godly parental guidance is a blessing, not a curse. Do not scorn your godly parents’ interest in this area. E. Make Christianity part of the date. Dating is no time to be ashamed about the gospel of Jesus Christ. ROM 1:16. F. Beware of intoxicants which break down inhibitions and corrupt judgment. PRO 23:30-33. 1. Let not a Christian liberty become a taskmaster that steals your willpower. 2. Licitus perimus omnes (It is lawful things that undo us). G. Distinguish between social dating and steady dating. 1. Social dating would be akin to casual dating of various persons with no serious romantic intention involved: a time to learn etiquette and communication with the opposite sex. Group dating with others of good character would be a good way to begin social dating. 2. Steady dating would be dating one person where serious thoughts of romance and long-term commitment are entertained, possibly leading to engagement. If marriage is planned, consider avoiding long engagements if you are going to be in person-to-person contact regularly. Lack of containment is a real issue. 1CO 7:9. H. Strive to not only avoid evil but the appearance (semblance, looking like) of evil (1TH 5:22), which concurs with not making provision for the lusts of the flesh (ROM 13:14). For example, if you are on an overnight trip together, book separate rooms. I. Practice Christianity rather than conformity to the world. ROM 12:2. 1. The world’s model is unrestrained abandonment to fulfilling the lusts of the flesh without regard to Biblical law, wisdom, discretion, self-restraint, chastity, etc. Throw caution to the wind! Let feelings rule! Breed like animals! Birth-control is better than self-control! Abortion is my savior! 2. Christianity’s model is one where knowledge and principle override feelings. a. Implement self-control. ROM 13:13; 1CO 9:25-27. b. It is childish to think, “I want what I want when I want it.” True love respects the other person and does not injure or take undue advantage of him or her for self-gratification. ROM 13:10.