Instructing Youth About Sex and Dating Part 1

I. Christ’s minister is to hold fast and preach the whole counsel of God. ACT 20:27. A. Scripture addresses many things that are uneasy or delicate but all profitable. ACT 20:20 c/w 2TI 3:16. B. There is a greater risk from avoiding necessary topics than preaching them, a risk to the saints who need the information and a risk to the preacher for not giving it. 1CO 9:16. C. It has been a number of years since I have specifically addressed a topic like this. 1. Many in the congregation were little children at the time. They have grown and need to hear their pastor’s instruction in this area. Newer members and families may be hearing this for the first time. 2. Moses’s Law contained graphic information about sexual matters that was to be read to all, young and old, at least every seven years. DEU 31:9-13. II. Children are to be trained up in the ways of God. PRO 22:6; EPH 6:4. A. Definitions. 1. train: To treat or manipulate so as to bring to the proper or desired form;... To subject to discipline and instruction for the purpose of forming the character and developing the powers of, or of making proficient in some occupation. (Also with up.) a. To instruct and discipline generally; to educate, rear, bring up. 2. nurture: Breeding, upbringing, training, education (received or possessed by one). b. Moral training or discipline. 3. admonition: The action of admonishing; authoritative counsel; warning, implied reproof. 4. admonish: gen. To put (a person) in mind of duties; to counsel against wrong practices; to give authoritative or warning advice; to exhort, to warn. B. The Book of Proverbs has copious instruction to the young person. 1. Solomon particularly addresses his son but his exhortation also speaks to the proper character of females since he warns his son what kind of woman to avoid and what a virtuous woman is like (PRO 31). It is not that Solomon was indifferent to instruction to young women but he recognized the value of motherly wisdom for their benefit. PRO 31:1 c/w TIT 2:3-4. 2. The overarching principle in Solomon’s admonitions and nurturings is of sexual cleanness for male and female. He sets forth sexual intercourse in marriage alone as both the lawful course and most excellent way of male-female relationships. C. PRO 5:1-21. Here is warning against sexual error and danger inherent in interaction with the strange woman. 1. She is strange in that she opposes what is right, as “strange fire” (NUM 3:4), or “strange incense” (EXO 30:9). She may be single or married. PRO 7:5, 19. 2. Her speech is alluring, flattering, hypnotic. v. 3; PRO 6:24; 7:21-22. 3. She has many inscrutable ways but one goal: conquest of her prey. v. 6. 4. vs. 3-14 are words of admonition. a. In vs. 3-5, the young person is taught to consider the end of something, which is circumspection (vigilant and cautious observation). EPH 5:15. b. v. 8 is a warning to not only not give in but to steer clear. The simpleton in his later example did not heed this warning. PRO 7:8. (1) Avoid all that is conducive to temptation. This is how one does not make provision for the flesh. ROM 13:14. (2) Do not mock God by praying, “...lead [me] not into temptation...” (MAT 6:13) and then wilfully leap into it, especially when your hormones are competing for the rational use of your mind or your senses have not been exercised sufficiently to be able to resist it. (3) Rare is the Joseph who can flee fornication when confronted with it. GEN 39:11-12 c/w 1CO 6:18. c. vs. 9-11 warn of the costs of uncleanness. c/w PRO 29:3; ROM 1:27. d. v. 14 speaks to the violation of conscience: he had been living the life of a religious hypocrite. Perhaps his main reason for being in church was to lust after others there. c/w 1CO 5:1. 5. vs. 15-19 are words of nurture. Having been warned about the abuse of sex, he is now instructed as to how that desire is to be properly channeled: in marriage. HEB 13:4. 6. vs. 20-21 are further admonition, a rhetorical question based upon what has been already said and how God is watching. We can save ourselves from much trouble by being ever mindful of the omniscience of our God and Judge. 1CO 11:31. 7. vs. 22-23 excludes blame-shifting for failure and entrapment. D. PRO 6:20 – 7:27 resumes the nurture and admonition necessary for the young person regarding sex. 1. He is warned against impure thoughts and susceptibility to “harmless” baiting. PRO 6:25. 2. He is particularly warned against the adulteress: the more valuable and pure her prey, the greater she is attracted to it since this demonstrates her power as she satisfies her own lust with a false dignity. PRO 6:26. 3. He is warned against the danger of aroused passion in himself and in a violated husband. PRO 6:27-35. 4. PRO 7:7-8 underscores how important it is to be informed and forewarned! 5. PRO 7:9-27 sets forth her character and tactics. a. She is not the chaste, modest, meek and quiet spirit of 1PE 3:2-4. b. She is religious! v. 14. c. She makes her prey feel special! This is how great cons are played. d. She calls sinful lust of adultery love (v. 18). ct/w 1CO 13:5-6. e. She forced him (v. 21), a sophisticated form of emotional rape. f. He is so overcome that he is as an animal going to slaughter. vs. 22-23. g. He is warned not to assume invulnerability. v. 26 c/w 1CO 10:12. 6. PRO 7:25 sets forth willpower, resolve. This is critical since none of these warnings will be of any value to someone who is not godly resolved beforehand. How important it is to “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (PRO 4:23).