Guidance for Young Ladies Part 2

VII. Young Christian ladies, in looking for love, dare not forget their first love: God. REV 2:4; MAT 22:36-37. A. Remember Paul’s warning about the tendency of younger widows who displace Christ from His place in their hearts. 1TI 5:11-12. B. If we covet anything more than God we have made that an idol. COL 3:5. 1. Do you covet a relationship more than God? 2. Do you covet a particular person more than God? 3. Do you covet a particular person's affection and attention more than God? 4. Do you covet satisfied emotions or carnal desires more than God? 5. NOTE: spiritual living is impossible if your flesh is your master and those who are slaves to lusts have many masters. GAL 5:17; ROM 8:5-6. C. Is God and His priorities worth waiting for? Or are you prone to run ahead of Him out Guidance For Young Ladies 6-2-24 Page 3  of impatience or human reasoning and end up with a troubled outcome as did Abram and Sarai? GEN 16:1-4, 12. 1. Mind that God sometimes grants the impatient, the insistent and the complainer their desires as a judgment. 1SAM 12:12 c/w HOS 13:11; PSA 106:13-15. 2. (LAM 3:25-26) The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 3. Believe with all your heart that your God does truly care for you and your godly desires. 1PE 5:6-7. 4. Fear not that He is not with you in all your trials. ISA 41:10. 5. “...for them that honour me I will honour...” (1SAM 2:30). D. Have 1. faith in God’s promises of loving, Fatherly care for you, His child. 2. patience to not run without Him unto sin or run before Him unto a foolish choice. 3. peace in your heart, for a heart at war with God or which is ruled by anxiety will not shine forth Christ, will telegraph that turmoil to others, and is more likely to make bad decisions. Reflections can’t be seen in boiling water, nor can Christ be seen in a turbulent soul. 4. contentment no matter your circumstances, a critical learned trait. PHIL 4:11; HEB 13:5. 5. resolve to improve yourself spiritually and personally rather than be angry with God for not making it easy, or angry with others to whom you transfer your disgruntlement with God and your unsatisfying circumstances. JON 4:1-5. 6. sense to realize that fairy-tale romances are nice but not required, and they can be obstacles to successful mating. a. If you will settle for nothing less than Prince Charming, you are likely to go lonely for a long time or deceive yourself concerning the character of your Prince. b. Good values, good character and good goals that are not abandoned because of “road-bumps” are better than fairy tales. c. Abraham and Sarah had a good marriage in spite of disappointments, some bad decision-making, disagreement, life-threatening challenges, etc. d. Prepare yourself to have a heart like Sarah, who, even after Abraham dumped an order for food preparation on her without warning, still honored him as her lord in her heart. GEN 18:6-12 c/w 1PE 3:4-6. 7. realistic expectations about marriage: there will be troubles. 1CO 7:28. 8. understanding that marriage is commitment for life, not an easy-return Wal-Mart purchase (ROM 7:1-3). The easy-out mentality can set you up for a foolish choice. 9. discretion, for it is worth more than looks. PRO 11:22; 31:30. E. Young ladies, you have been raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (EPH 6:4) and have been relatively spared from the corruptions of the world. Be advised: 1. You will be rubbing shoulders more and more with a culture that does not respect the values of your God and this will be occurring at a time when you are still relatively immature and lacking discernment. Be prudent about your acquaintances, entertainments, etc. 1CO 15:33. 2. Even the infamous “strange woman” had been taught well in her youth. PRO 2:16-18. 3. You will also be at this time dealing with the power of emotion and sexual desire, which things are normal, being built into us all by God. They are not of themselves Guidance For Young Ladies 6-2-24 Page 4  evil but they must be subordinate to godliness and channeled accordingly. Respect your heart but rule it well or it will rule you unto regrettable decisions. PRO 28:26 ct/w PRO 3:5-6. VIII. It is not inappropriate to pray for a spouse. In fact, it would be inappropriate to NOT pray for a spouse if that is your desire. GEN 24:12-14; PHIL 4:6-7. A. Effectual prayer is that which accords with the will of God (1JO 5:14-15). Compare these prayers: 1. “Lord, there is this guy that I have seen in XXXXX; now get him for me to marry, for he pleaseth me well.” See JDG 14:2-3. 2. “Lord, give me a spouse that satisfies my ego/lusts/flesh---I will settle for nothing less.” 3. “Lord, I desire your will over mine and will be content and chaste in single life. Please consider the desire of my heart for godly marriage, for I know that You ordained marriage as good.” 4. HINT: God knows your heart and you can’t con Him with the words of #3 when your heart is #1 or #2. B. Asking is good, when the asking is from a humble, obedient believer who abides in God's word. JOH 15:7 c/w 1JO 3:21-22. C. Asking is not good when one's own will and lusts are paramount. JAM 4:1-3. D. The godly desires of the heart are granted to those who delight themselves in the Lord. PSA 37:4-5 c/w ISA 58:13-14. IX. Here is a suggested preference scale for a husband (starting with the best): A. Someone of like precious faith with known good faith and character who respects you in the Lord. This is the premium way to avoid a divided house and produce a godly seed. LUK 11:17; MAL 2:14-15. B. Someone of like precious faith who needs some improvement of faith and polishing of character but he is not so proud as to realize his need for improvement. C. Someone of unlike faith who fears God, has good character, respects you and will not forbid the exercise of your faith. D. Someone who has good morals and character, respects you and will not forbid the exercise of your faith. E. Charm, looks, material wealth, worldly success, etc. must be way down on the list. F. Unrepentant tomcats, rogues, violent men are not even on the list. X. May God bless young ladies who strive to honor PSA 144:12; PRO 31; TIT 2:4-5; 1PE 3:1-6. Guidance For Young Ladies 6-2-24 Page 5